Oh Mic! - Mental
For some reason when I was younger, I always thought, with confidence, I’d have two kids before I was thirty, obviously married, in a nice place on a nice street. In my sixteen year old mind, I’d be well on my way to being a big boy.
I’m pretty sure I just looked at my parents and every other grown up around me and figured I’d fall somewhere close to their timelines, I don’t think I had any reason to think otherwise.
Well I’m thirty now, and not only do I not have a wife, or kids, or a place (I rent ;)), but I don’t even have a girlfriend. I’m a tremendous disappointment to my grandmother. A lot of people my age, and even younger than me are already married or are in long term relationships, they live together and seem to be right on track with the timeline.
Maybe it’s odd, maybe it isn’t, but I don’t feel a hint of pressure. I don’t feel rushed, I don’t feel like I’m behind and I don’t even feel weird; it’s actually like I’m moving in the opposite direction. The way things are going, it’s almost as if I’m reverting back to being a kid. I’m making music again, I’m playing hockey and working out, not drinking or smoking cigars, and the concept of “growing up” because of my age makes absolutely no sense to me.
Is it because I had to grow up fast when my dad passed away? Is it because I’m an outcast? Do I have serious commitment issues? Regardless of why I am the way I am, I have no desire to be like anyone but myself.
I’m sure there are a bunch of people out there who think they’re late for something and feel the pressure to “grow up” and not miss the boat, who believe they have to make sacrifices for the sake of appearing adult like everyone else. No one wants to not fit in, right?
So as my 30th birthday neared, I wanted to write something light but meaningful and that’s where “Mental” came from. It’s a celebration of doing your own thing, and seeming crazy to other people because you’re not concerned with their manic schedules or appearances, and kind of going along with the gag “ya, I’m a mental case, but I’m good!”
The song does take an odd turn though, and that just represents those moments when I question myself for a second “Do I actually know what I’m doing? Is everyone crazy, or am I?” and I think it’s very human and very healthy to self-reflect. At least that’s what I tell myself.
I think we’re all different, yet equally important, and we all have something beautiful to offer the world. I think we should acknowledge the beauty of that!