How Expression Helps Me Get Back on Track
Wow, I’ve been so disorganized lately. It’s almost like I didn’t listen to a single word of the last 35 blogs I posted… Whether it’s being present, not being in a rush or not overthinking, for the past week I’ve chosen to just blatantly ignore my logic and reasoning, the very words I live by. And why is that you may ask?
I think it’s just because I’m excited, so excited in fact I lost a little bit of steam by having my mind uncontrollably bounce off the walls for the last 10 days.
So what am I excited about? While I was flying back from a trip just over a week ago, I figured I’d read a book a friend recommended for me. Long story short, it made me realize a few things about my current projects and gave newfound perspective I really think I needed. I touched on it a bit in my last blog (ohmic.com/blog/separating-blog-and-music/) but regardless of what I learned, it’s refocused my path.
And so since I landed, I’ve been running around like a madman, covering every square millimeter of my whiteboard, starting new social media accounts, setting up meetings, sleeping very little and drinking way too much coffee.
Might sound like I’m busy, but chaotic is a more appropriate term. It’s only been about a week, so I won’t beat myself up too bad about it, but the bigger point here is how easily a sudden change in plans can totally mess up our rhythm, or at least mine.
I had a great flow going, a nice balance of work and rest; things were rolling out very consistently. As soon as the revelation to split my music and my blog into separate entities hit me, I felt like I was so behind with my music; even though I know rushing won’t help… So I devoted all kinds of time and energy on the music side, and watched and waited for things to happen. Things are happening, but nothing is fast in the beginning.
I wasn’t using my time efficiently, I was getting carried away and borderline obsessive. Rewind one week and I was the most zen, patient and relaxed version of myself I’d been in years. One little pivot and boom, ground zero!
Am I really starting from scratch? Did I really mess my whole alignment up? Nah, no chance!
Like I said earlier, I got excited, super pumped about the refinement of my plan. I think right about now is when the dust is settling and I’ll ease right back into my smoother, more present self. Sometimes we’re on a roll, we build momentum and a little something happens to alter that, is it such a bad thing? Should I feel super guilty?
I’ve been building great momentum since I started writing my blog, about four months of consistency. Should I really let one week of chaos hinder all that? Sounds ridiculous when I type it out!
All I have to do is zoom out a little bit, get a grip on my long term goals and backtrack to see if what I’m doing right now is contributing to where I want to go. A big part of this process for me is writing it out, letting the words write themselves so I can read this later and see what I can draw from it. Then after I correct a few spelling mistakes I can post it out to you.
What really changed in the last week? I didn’t write. Things started to change in my life when I started voicing my thoughts, writing them out. The therapeutic nature of the no-filter writing seems to be the key ingredient in keeping me on track, focused and most importantly, present. Just a week off and things are just weird.
When I wrote the first sentence of this blog, I didn’t have a clue that my lack of writing was such a crucial part of why I might be so chaotic lately. This isn’t a post about writing, but I think there’s something to be said about having an outlet to express the way we’re feeling. Personally I like to write, but having a conversation with a friend, a stranger, painting, who knows, but I’m inclined to believe any form of expression can get anyone back in the groove.
Conversations lead to places we couldn’t have imagined; the free flow of thoughts with someone we can confide in can allow for a lesson to be learned or a realization to be had. Expressing exactly what’s on my mind has often led me to asking questions that lead to something specific. And once the cat is out of the bag, I can do something about it.
I can literally feel the calmness seep back into my brain as I write these words on this keyboard. It’s a wonderful feeling and I can’t believe how this exercise has become a major component to my contentedness.
What did I learn writing this blog? I learnt that as much momentum as I built, a slight change in course temporarily pushed me off track. I’m logical, I’m reasonable and I’m aware, but only after I expressed myself through this blog did I realize how important voicing feelings are and how expression itself, no matter the vehicle, can help get the wheels back on the road!